I don't remember much about my childhood, but what I can tell you is that it was never fair and rarely kind. I was victim to a lot of people who knew better but didn't do better. As an undiagnosed neurodivergent boy, many of my needs weren't met, and I got zero support. That fragile developing mind found solace in art where it could. We were too poor for art supplies, and I was too bullied to share mine with friends.

I begged for biro's and refill pads. They were my everyday. It became my passion. We lived on a main road and, with very little to entertain me, I found a way to entertain myself. I sat by the front window and watched vans and trucks going by. Their logos and liveries fascinated me. Why choose this colour in that shape? Why use that symbol instead of this alternative?

I don't say all of this to play the tiny violin and ask for sympathy. I need no sympathy. I only recount this to give context to the next part of my life, since so many people are often confused by it.

The young man in the photo you see below was not happy. He was tortured by a past filled with abuse, and the call of the void was irresistable. Very few moments contained joy, and the times which didn't were spent planning for an early end.

At the time I still had not been diagnosed neurodivergent. As it has since transpired, my altered brain chemistry meant anti-depressants didn't work. I felt that bringing an early end to my days was an inevitability, rather than a choice. My conscience couldn't allow me to go without helping people first, though. This was what led me to nursing school. I had failed my A-Levels and lost all hope of a career in the arts, so I managed to get in on clearing with just my GCSEs. My logic was that if I could spend four years as a registered nurse, I could make a big enough difference to the world to greet the void as a friend.

As the four year deadline approached, my demeanour must have been noticeably low. A senior sister in the Emergency Department I worked in had spotted this and asked a mental health nurse we worked with to talk to me privately. When I recounted my past experiences of abuse, she suggested that an urgent referral to a psychotherapist as well as some time off work was essential for my safety.

I ended up taking months off work, but even that time wasn't enough to fix a lifetime spent surviving rather than living. I knew something needed to change in my life so I looked at progressing in nursing to make something more of the career. There's a whole story in that but suffice it to say, it didn't end with me feeling fulfilled.

Progression hadn't worked out for me so I thought perhaps my personal life needed some attention instead. At this point, I'd moved to London and was pointed towards the website Meetup. I found a drawing club who met at a cafe on the Embankment every weekend and took turns to draw each other. This was so rewarding to my life drawing, that I downloaded the app Sktchy, now called Museum, where people shared their photos to inspire artists who then posted to the same app - giving a paired post of both alongside one another.

This alone wasn't enough to improve my mindset, so I changed jobs to work back in my hometown, and started dating there too. It still didn't fulfil me, and I was finding the older I got, the less I was able to tolerate the noise, touch, and eye contact of nursing. Looking for further change, I left working in the Emergency Department and went onto a paid nursing training course, for an office role. It was on the second day of that course when an autistic trainee asked, "Are you autistic because I'm autistic and I think you're autistic?"

My eldest sister - a clinical psychologist - suggested I ask about assessment for ASD, and while I waited for this referral to come to fruition, I researched it. I found that so many of my experiences surrounding my sensory sensitivity, problems with miscommunication, touch, eye contact, among many other areas were explained almost entirely. As time would tell, there was ADHD lurking in my brain box too, which explained the remainder.

These revelations allowed me to understand myself so much better. I was beginning to tear down the failing derelict structure I'd built in my mind to protect me from the harm of the outside world. I decided that something did need to change in my life, but it wasn't moving between nursing specialties. I had spent my entire life planning for the end, so I'd never truly lived. Now I was at a turning point where I wanted to take affirmative positive action. This was the change I needed!

I didn't have the A-Levels to get into an art degree, so I looked at Art Access courses nearby. There was one on offer in Leak Art College and I - again - managed to get in on clearing just as the course had started in 2019. I had the GCSEs but my portfolio was what swayed the course lead. Joining wasn't enough for me though. I needed to prove to myself that I was worthy of this - that I deserved a career in art at all.

So I told myself that I needed to get good grades to prove this. If I got distinctions, then it meant I deserved to go on and do a degree in the arts and pursue a career. If I did poorly, then I owed it to the world to return to nursing. I recognise now that this is a very faulty way of thinking, and if anyone is having similar doubts about their own creative ability, then please don't measure yourself against an academic yard stick.

By the end of the course, we had been learning by webcam for a long time. I'd needed to build a custom PC from parts with zero experience, as well as buy an A3 scanner printer, since we had to send our work off as digital PDF's to be marked. By the end of the one year course, I had received high praise, two awards for excellence, and broke the college record for highest ever grade - distinctions for all modules!

Interviewing for degree courses at my three UCAS university choices was quite the experience. Each university was very different than the last. At Loughborough, I was greeted with a course leader who knew my work and application ahead of my arrival. He introduced himself in the corridor where I waited, with a clear knowledge of my history in nursing. After our interview he said he wouldn't offer to shake my hand as he'd read I was autistic and knew I wouldn't like it.

At Nottingham, I was told my portfolio was already at the standard of a professional, but if I did their degree I would have letters after my name. This didn't strike me as the best use of a £30,000 student loan. As nice as their clean glass-walled Mac rooms were, I felt the need for something more real.

I went to interview at the University of Derby at this point. It was the third and final of my interviews and the organiser had moved my date twice in the space of three days - at very short notice. The interviewer didn't know I was arriving, skimmed through my portfolio barely taking notice of it, and clearly demonstrated he wasn't much of an active listener. Rather than get annoyed at these, I was amused by all three interviews. Remember, I had experienced very little of what life had to offer up to this point, besides drawing everyday and offering my services on commission.

My degree at Derby began while still distance learning. I was still caught in the mental gymnastics of convincing myself I had to prove my worth by getting the best grades. It gave me stress headaches, heartburn, and only sapped my confidence when it should have bolstered it. Having studied nursing full-time, I could only study part-time on my degree unless I had £9,000 in my account when the first year started - even if paying by instalments. Unlikely on a part-time nursing income.

My grades were almost all first class, and my confidence did grow from this, but the biggest confidence boost I received from the course was my lecturers' faith in me. Senior Lecturer in Graphic Design Kev Jones suggested that I join a new school of arts project called SOAR led by Senior Lecturer in Film Teresa Forde. I had no experience in Adobe InDesign but Kev had faith that I would learn it quickly. Over three issues I became very well acquainted with InDesign, and was promoted to Lead Designer for the second issue onward.

Senior Lecturer Kev Jones' testimonial:

"Luke has consistently demonstrated a high level of performance since joining the BA (Hons) Graphic Design course at the University of Derby. He is a dedicated and punctual student with a professional and approachable manner. Luke is intelligent, curious, and eager to learn, responding thoughtfully to feedback from both tutors and peers.

He is a valued member of our cohort, known for his attention to detail and commitment to producing work that is both personal and creatively interpreted. Luke continually challenges himself to deepen his understanding of design and strives to meet professional standards in all his projects.

Luke is also a strong team player. He serves as lead designer for the School of Arts Research (SOAR) publication and contributes to the UoD Creative Agency, where he collaborates with staff and clients on live briefs and internal projects. His recent work on the publicity and wayfinding for the 2025 Made It Creative Industries Showcase highlights not only his design talent but also his organisational and marketing skills. His contributions have been instrumental in promoting the work and talent of this year’s graduating students."

Now that I've graduated first class with honours, I have been a freelancer for the past seven years. During that time I've been finding out who I am. What makes me tick. I've explored so many more areas of my life than I ever thought likely. I have moved from planning for the end to being excited for tomorrow. My goals remain the same. I want to make a positive impact on the world and leave it a better place than I entered it. I want to continue to share my creative spirit and force of compassion with others in the works I create.

Equally, I want to impress on others the idea that there is so much world out there that you would never scratch the surface of if you spent your whole lifetime chasing after it. So no matter what your past life experiences - no matter how much the void calls your name - you can always find something else waiting for you on the horizon. Something you may never have thought possible.

I have spent the last seven years of my adult life catching up on all the experiences and self-realisation that I missed out on in my unfortunate formative years. Every challenge I have taken on, I have surpassed. Every difficulty thrown at me, I have moved on from. My life is not a tragic tale of defeat, it is a triumph to have survived. Much of it has been kept out of this retelling, to avoid causing any reader undue pain. I don't look to the past any more. I am focused on my future and all the possibilities it holds. I'm ready to take on this new career path with both hands and what a ride it will be!